Homeland Security Issues Warning after Terrier-ist is Adopted by a Nebraska Family
1-12-2008
OMAHA, NEBRASKA - 'Perfect Pets', a Nigerian based online dog rescue service that screens new prospective dog owners through bulk email spam solicitations, has just created a new match.
'Perfect Pets' adheres to a strict qualification process to insure that all applicants are capable of assuming the role of responsible dog owners. The 'Perfect Pets' 15 page proof of identity application form is one of the most comprehensive in the industry. Those interested in adopting a 'Perfect Pet' need only supply all of their checking account number and pin, passport, social security card, drivers license, and credit card numbers.
"'Congratulations. You have been selected by Perfect Pets,' were the most wonderful words we've ever read in the spam section of our gmail account", said happily married couple, Sidney and Gladys Balderdash of Omaha Nebraska.
The email went on to say that the 'Perfect Pets' PETA trained staff had selected 'Reggie' a dog believed to be originally from Afghanistan as their new family member. Sidney Balderdash expressed his excitement, "My pregnant wife and our six young children ages 1, 3, 5, 6, 8, and 9 can't wait to receive our cute new dog. Reggie will bring us even closer together than we already are."
For a large non-refundable upfront cash wire-transfer to a Nigerian bank ($19,500) 'Perfect Pets' provides the ideal dog for individuals or families. Company president Mr. Henshaw Guobadia in a massive spamming email said, "If you are a busy naïve executive, have a growing family and know nothing about dogs, we will assume your identity. Just give us all your personal confidential information and let 'Perfect Pets' and PETA take all the guess work out of the dog acquisition process."
The whole Balderdash family is now at the Omaha International airport joyously waiting to greet their sweet new dog. Mr. Balderdash has asked his mother-in-law Sylvia to do the honors of removing Reggie from his barbed-wire, steel reinforced Electro-shock cage.
|
