Joe the Plumber Gets His Pipes Cleaned Courtesy of Whoremaster McCain
10-30-2008
TOLEDO, OHIO - Leaky Joe now has something to gush about. In the wee hours of the morning last night the latest Republican folk hero known as Joe the Plumber finally received his payback for all the work he has done on behalf of John McCain.
As a hardcore participant in McCain's extensive new 'Middle Class White Male Relief Plan' Joe who is neither a plumber nor named Joe got to lay the only kind of pipe he's ever laid.
McCain's plan is designed to relieve pressure on white blue-collar workers and pimp more Republican votes.
It all took place at a sleazy hourly rate motel just outside of Toledo, where Republican Operative Joe the Plumber was formerly introduced to his female counterpart in the McCain Campaign, Harriet the Hooker.
About 4:15 am a visibly intoxicated Joe the Plumber pulled up to the rear of the Don't Tell Motel where he met with a pimped out shadowy figure named John McCain. After a few seconds of small talk McCain escorted Joe to room 270 (magic number of electoral votes needed to win Presidency) where Harriet the Hooker was anxiously waiting.
McCain stood guard outside the room as Joe the Plumber got his pipes reamed.
Three minutes later a smiling disheveled Joe exited the room, lit a cigarette, thanked McCain profusely, then got in his truck and sped away.
Throughout the day the dapper pimp McCain greeted other middle class male voters such as Joe The Carpenter, Joe The Electrician, Joe The Optician, Joe The Painter, Joe The Dry Waller, Joe The Bricklayer, Joe The Roofer, Joe The Landscaper, Joe The Barber, Joe The Bartender, Joe The Fireman, Joe The Used Car Salesman, and Joe the Shoe Maker as they came and went from room 270.
After his quick success with Joe the Plunger and the rest of the Joes, McCain began to solicit other white males. "Hence forth let it be known to all working Joes, that if you are dumb enough to vote against your own best economic and social interests I John McCain will personally hook-you-up. I'm gonna turn all you Joes into Johns!"
McCain who jokingly refers to these short intimate encounters as Town Hall Meetings said, "It's hard out here for a pimp, but thanks to this desperate last-ditch strategy that my campaign has developed we are now converting white male blue collar working voters (Johns) at a record pace. Our internal pollsters predict that my 'Middle Class White Male Relief Program' will be the difference cum November 4th."
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