McCain Helps another Needy Family That 'Had' an Oceanfront Mansion stating, 'It Was a Steal'

Compassionate Presidential Hopeful Will Pay Cash to Financially Troubled Owners of Homes in Exclusive Gated Communities

09-01-2008

PRINCETON, NEW JERSEY - Senator John McCain and his wife Cindy the heiress to a large fortune, today announced the formation of a fund to acquire high end one of a kind custom homes from previously upper class citizens who through no fault of their own are either in foreclosure or can no longer afford to retain them.

In his press release McCain reaches out to innocent homeowners: "I want to help families with prime real estate holdings. If you are under severe pressure from financial institutions or are desperately facing either divorce, bankruptcy, foreclosure, loan sharks, drug dealers, or are contemplating suicide or murder, you must contact me! If you or a loved one is a CEO of a publicly held Fortune 500 Corporation that is in danger of losing his/her job because of fiduciary incompetence or facing indictment due to shareholder fraud, I can help."

In a nationally broadcast Infomercial featuring his latest scam McCain pleads in his most compassionate tone, "Won't you please let me and Cindy help you in your time of need. Please, Please! Please!!! Contact me at www.I-Buy-Mansions.com and receive your cash payoff the same day."

McCain continued, "This is not a bail-out, while others are helping the poor and middle class who have been prayed upon by unscrupulous mortgage companies, I'm going to help the rich. Or should I say the formally rich. Those facing jail time, those with deeds and huge adjustable subprime mortgages on properties in the finest areas of our great country. Places like Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard, Santa Barbra, and Palm Beach… Properties with magnificent views and manicured landscaping, or maybe a large horse stable and polo field, or golf course or…"

McCain has told reporters that while he normally would not keep more than 20 mansions at any given time, during this real estate emergency where people are experiencing sudden and catastrophic reductions in their property values he will make an exception, "I will steal, I mean buy as many of these gems as possible as long as I get a great deal! Hey, I'm not looking to flip these homes and make myself a quick buck; I intend to live in them all."

Former Senator Phil Graham, McCain's best friend, Banking Industry Lobbyist, and top McCain campaign financial advisor will handle all of the www.I-Buy-Mansions.com cash. Graham was solely responsible for the deregulation of the credit card, banking and mortgage industries thus causing our current economic crisis and deep recession. Graham will launder and divert McCain campaign fund contribution money through under the table cash payoffs to cooperative homeowners who are already in foreclosure.

At the end of his infomercial McCain explains how his scam will bring about a quick turn around in the troubled American economy. "My friends, if my Presidency is anything like that of the great leader of the free world George W. Bush; I will have plenty of vacation time. My goal is to have at least one magnificent mansion in every state of the nation. These homes will need maintenance and create menial labor jobs for many common citizens, minorities and illegals of our great land. I truly intend to be the President of all the people. Thank you and God Bless America."